Sunday, December 27, 2009




Anger, sadness and depression creeping in my heart again... To prevent from affecting anybody, i punch my pillow and threw that bad feelings on the bed thru violence... Its sooo much worst this time due to the problem im gg thru rite nw...

Then i start to listen to My favourite old time songs... dun wori, its english.... Really made me cry this time... affects my heart terribly...

It was quite shocking for me... after 7 years, i suddenly remembered abt a special person in my life... No, the special person is nt my bf... i only met my bf last year... and no, nt my bestie gf... i only met her 5 years ago... also, nt Irfan cz i only met him 2 years ago... no no... This guy here, wen i was Primary 5, he was in sec 5... so he's like 6 years older then me? I called him Abg Nazri. A guy who treats me like his own sister, a soft hearted, caring guy who always says "awe.... dun wori adik... abg is here... dun cry ok!" No peepz, i dun hv a big brother, and he is neither my cousin... He is sum1 who appeared in my life like an angel and the one who inspire me alot...

To Abg Nazri,
Abg, wherever u r, and whoever u r, adik is happy... I noe u may nt remember me after this 7 years... Bt i can still remember hw u were and wat u did for me... It was a short meet bt u made a difference in my life... I hope u r happy rite nw... hmm... or maybe married wif kids? lolx! idk... If i were to meet u again sumwhere in my life, it wld be a miracle... Hopefully that will happen so that i could tell u abt the Nadhirah i am rite nw... Its an appreciation for u cz u let me feel for once in my lifetime that i had a big brother whom i wished for since i was young... May Allah Bless You....

Adik Irah


TENCHI POWER CHUNYUU!
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Friday, December 25, 2009


My right eye is really itchy! God! the flesh inside is like coming out! Really disgusting! nid to clip up all my hair so there'll be no irritation!

Yesterday meet up wif cliques, will update more abt it once i gt some pics from Syaf. Adios! I nid to wash my face and stuff cz my eyes are really itchy!
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Wednesday, December 23, 2009




I wanna let this feeling out... I wanna express it... I dun wanna feel this fear and pain alone... Bt i couldnt... I tried to let it out last nite while chatting wif him... Wanting to tell him hw im feeling... wats my situation like... Bt i couldnt... I wen offline as i couldnt bear wif the pain im feeling... I said to myself "No, thats enuff. I cnt let him noe more... He gt enuff problems... If i tell him more, he mite get sick bcz of the stress and pressure." Saying Gd nite, take care and remind him to eat and eat his medicine, i wen offline... I cnt even concentrate on my korean drama... 2 more ppl that i wanna sms... Bt my heart said: "No, he too hv alot of problems... dun bother him...." Im left wif 1... bt the again, my heart interrupted my actions "Forget it. Jus go to sleep... u will probably hv problems in expressing. Even though she will definitely try her best to help u" I put my fone far away from my bed(in my bag) and lay down while looking at the ceiling...

"If only...."
I start listing down...

"What shld i do?"
Im stuck

"Whom shld i ask for help?"
Dun bother, i cnt even express

In the end, slept at 5am wif a swollen eye.... After crying... Im glad im working tonite... Hopefully by making myself bz, i wun make myself tired bcz of this problem....

May Allah show me a path and give me strength to go thru this....


Dun bother her

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Tuesday, December 22, 2009


God, pls save everyone...
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Monday, December 21, 2009





Im sori... I couldnt bear to see this continue happening behind our back... My intention was to teach her the rite thing... After much thoughts, i really nid to tell the adults... I dun care if shes gonna hate me for life... bt i dun wan this to continue happening... If it does, and some family members read it, our family's pride will fall and we will be looked down... For years, our family has been respectable... Known by other relatives wif our manners and fun side... I dun wan bcz of this, it will spoil every thing.. I dun wan ppl blame it on our parents, our generation... This dispute has put our family to shame... im dissapointed! Wanna stay strong, bt tears jus wun stop falling....U stay strong too... Lets pray tat the adults will noe hw to resolve this...

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Monday, December 14, 2009


I am feeling extremely tired at the moment... like seriously... cz on saturday, i finally felt the pain of sum1 who works 2 jobs... woke up at 6(overslept by 30mins!), almost late to work seh... Woke my store in charge up... haha!(terbalik ehk? lolx! cnt blame her... shes tired taking care of us, 20ppl) and quickly get ready... didnt hv the time to eat breakfast, so bought breakfast at McD! and she pop up from nowhere... hahaha! Open the store at 7.15am, jus like we planned, ate, open cashier, check stock, stock in newspaper which was late and there we go, the start of our long day... i asked to go off early by 30 mins cz i felt superbly exhausted and sleepy...

Straight away go to my 2nd part time job, which is wif my aunt, catering... Even mum cn see tat i was tired... yet, i forced myself to do the work even though i was already limping and my shoulder and back hurts like hell... It was great cz Nadhirah, my cousin Fareesh's gf, was there... talked wif her, had a great time! Wen to my aunts terrace near Chai Chee Sec, and man it was damn funny wif the guys! Abdil, Zul and Darul was superbly funny! Me and Nadhirah couldnt stop laughing... even my aunt, uncle and my parents love them! lolx! Wishing Darma was there... Hmpf! (Abgkuz oii!!! u didnt even visit and say hi! hmph! rabak! ur adik was expecting u to visit umah mummy zauwiyah... it was soo fun and u missed out!)

Reach home at dunno wat time, talk wif parents, and slept at 2am... Wanted to wake up late cz tehre was no work, bt mum wans me to fix my hp ASAP! So yeah! Wen to samsung shop, send in my dead hp, bought groceries and wen to workplace to say hi... haha!

Heres a song my colleague, darul was singing... Its nice... and i like it! Enjoy!



1: Eh, u work, then u communicate wif guys at work, and u dun really sms ur bf, he dun mind meh..?
2: Nolah... He understands me... He knows tat i am bz working to look for some extra income and be independent... He noes tat even though i talk to guys, i dun flirt wif them... He noes tat those catering guys, i treat them like my own big bro and tats it... He noes tat i gt more frens who are guys then girls.... besides, he's hving his common test nw. he nids the time to study... we'll spend more time wif each other wen bth of us hv the time... dun wori...
1: True... bt u noe lah nowadays guys... some, if the girl dun pay attention to then, they 2 time u... be careful k...
2: I noe... dun wori, as much as he trust me, i mus trust him too... Even though sumtimes he can be so weird and he is always secretive, im sure he did it for his own gd and for my own gd... For us, family and studies comes 1st...
1: Tats gd to hear... At least u guys are mature enuff to think abt ur future... It shows u guys are serious abt the r'ship... Do take care of urself cz ibu suspect already...
2: Yeah... bt ibu is hinting to me shes ok wif it under some conditions... she says he hv to come, visit ibu and ask for permission...
1: Really ah? Ur ibu unpredictable tau... Dun bring him home 1st unless u and him are stable... later he rush u guys to get married hw?
2: I dun wanna gt married 1st lah! I wanna go Japan 1st... be a nurse there... then marry lor... enjoy life to the fullest 1st b4 settling down...
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Friday, December 11, 2009






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